A Guide To The Wizarding World For Muggles- or What Harry Potter Taught Me.
1. That kid with the greasy hair is always up to something. Actually, anybody who looks a bit greasy is a bad guy. Don’t be fooled into thinking they are just hygienically challenged. Their hair is a symbol of their evil, evil deeds.
2. Never give a depressed house elf a case of butter beer unsupervised. There will be less partying and more weeping into tea towels and old socks.
3. All locked doors can be opened with a simple spell you learnt on your first day of school. Go on- try it. You might just find something cool and dangerous.
4. There are limited jobs in the wizarding world: you can either be a journalist, shop keeper, teacher or ministry worker. They are your only options. Deal with it.
5. Even though you go to a magical school, don’t count on the nurse being a skilled optician. You’ll still have to wear glasses. Even though she can re-grow your bones and get rid of the flu with chocolate? That’s right.
6. If you get sorted into Slytherin, you might as well go home now. You might be clever and look good in green, but everyone will hate you.
7. Don’t go out in your invisibility cloak if it’s snowing.
8. Polyjuice potion is fun until someone accidentally drinks cat hair.
9. Even if you’re as brainy as Hermione, you will never, ever figure out how Hagrid was conceived.
10. If you don’t like pumpkin, you are screwed. It’s in everything. Pies, juice, cakes…