“Sometimes the hardest job of the day is finding excuses not to do exercise”- or What The Gym Taught Me
1. Never, ever try to jump on to a moving treadmill. Flying backwards followed by comical clown noises will most probably follow.
2. No matter how much make up you apply before you get there, the gym will suck the beauty from everyone and anyone, with all that sweat and bad lighting. If you do look good at the gym, you are the people us normal, sweaty folks hate.
3. Stopping when you have burnt 220 calories so you can eat that Dairy Milk bar in your bag is counter productive- especially if you eat it as you go.
4. Going shopping to buy a new gym outfit does not count as a workout.
5. All conversations had with the scales (either a happy OH MY GOD THANK YOU I’M NO LONGER OBESE! or a WHY DO YOU KEEP TELLING ME I’M FAT!!! ALL I’VE HAD TODAY IS 2 SLICES OF CUCUMBER AND A DIET COKE!) should be had in the comfort of your own home- to avoid making a scene.