“Whooooo are you? Who, who, who WHO?!” Or What CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Taught Me
1. You can kill someone with anything. My favourite weapons of choice include dry ice, a bear, a gun that shoots itself and a sparkly pen.
2. When processing important evidence, it’s always a good idea to have a song playing in the background to speed things up. If the lyrics have some connection with the case you’re working, that’s a double bonus.
3. Nobody just lives a normal life outside work- you’ve either got a gambling habit, your dad is a gazillionaire casino mogul or you have a prostitute daughter living in LA. Obviously.
4. Archie is amazing. He can clean up photos and find out the make and model of the getaway car with just one shitty sound bite while apparently working ridiculous hours without any credit. Props to Archie.
5. “This guy’s not the murderer. Our murderer wore size 16 clown shoes. This guy’s not a clown. Can’t be our guy.”
6. Bugs at a crime scene? Don’t even stress, cos Grissom has an encyclopaedic knowledge of ALL BUGS EVER!
7. Nick Stokes should never grow a moustache again. Actually, he should just stay away from facial hair altogether.
8. Inappropriate puns immediately after finding a dead body are encouraged. I like to think all CSI’s are part of a game, and the winner gets to leave before the series becomes stale. Warwick obviously won.
9. Everyone hates Sarah Sidle. So you’re mum killed your dad and then went cray cray. From Season 1-9 you were insufferable.
10. Serial killers in Las Vegas, beware. You will be found out before the end of the season. It doesn’t matter how smart you are. Grissom will catch you and then he will sit in his office looking distant and thoughtful, contemplating life, the universe….and bugs.