The Best and Worst Fictional Fathers
To commemorate Father’s Day, I’ve put together a list of the most endearing and the most diabolical dads out there in popular culture land. It’s dedicated to all dads everywhere- no matter how many times you ground your kids, you are definitely not as bad as these 5 parental nightmares…
5. King Lear (King Lear)
This guy shows the classic case of favouritism between his kids. He asks his three daughters ‘Who loves me best?!’, and two of them answer ‘It’s totes me Dad! Give me some cash!’ The only daughter who actually loves dear old Lear is disinherited because she finds it difficult to say how she really feels. To be fair on him, he was probably half out of his mind when he made that foolish decision, and he got his just desserts by going crazy in the end. He also had to put up with 3 squabbling daughters. Poor guy.
4. Denethor (Lord of the Rings)
Denethor loves Boromir. He loves his floppy hair and his English accent. He loves his rugged beard and his inability to see that the One Ring evil. EVVVIIIIIL. Denethor is not so happy with Faramir. So he tells him he wished he’d been shot 10 times by Orc arrows instead of Boromir. Ouch.
3. Jack Torrance (The Shining)
What is it with dads going crazy?! In a different state, Jack probably wouldn’t have gone out of his way to try and crazy murder his family. But he did. So he’s on the list.
2. Peter Griffin (Family Guy)
Does this one need an explanation?!
1. Anakin Skywalker (Star Wars)
Anakin Skywalker had it all: Jedi Knight with a light sabre? Check. Married to Natalie Portman? Check. Two loyal and friendly robots to help out around the house? Check. So when he gets all crabby that Samuel L Jackson won’t let him play with the big kids, he has a bit of a man strop. The result is this fashion nightmare. After killing his wife, capturing his daughter and then blowing up her home planet, chopping off his sons arm and, oh yeah, TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE UNIVERSE, Anakin Skywalker is the WORST DAD EVER. EVER.
It was much easier thinking of the worst dads- but here are my 5 best dads around. Take heed, dads: if we ever get captured by Eastern European gangsters or there’s a zombie invasion, that’s when we need you!
5. Mr. Weasley (Harry Potter)
This guy must have the patience of a saint. Not only does he have 7 kids, his wife keeps inviting another mouth to feed into his house every summer. He let his teenage sons fly a Ford Anglia on a whim, he got tickets to the Quidditch World Cup for the whole family and he is totally bad ass at duelling evil wizards. Oh, and he forgave Harry for eating him snake-style.
4. Rick Grimes (The Walking Dead)
Rick Grimes battled with a hospital full of zombies, then a street full of zombies and then a CITY full of zombies, just to get back to his wife and son. And when he did find them, he let Karl wear his hat!
3. Atticus Finch (To Kill A Mockingbird)
One Shot Finch. What a legend.
2. Marlin (Finding Nemo)
Marlin was too scared to even cross the street (how do they have streets under the sea?!) until little Nemo got cocky and touched a boat, leading him to get captured by an evil Australian dentist. Marlin took to the high seas in hot pursuit, fending off sharks, jellyfish and some very repetitive seagulls. When he found Nemo, he spent the journey home telling him lots of fun facts about sea turtles. N’aww!
1. Bryan Mills (Taken)
I have to admit, I totally forgot that Liam Neeson’s epic dad character in Taken was called Bryan. But he was, and he was epic. He bought a karaoke machine for his daughter (best present ever!), and then when she got sold into the sex slave business he went into Bourne mode, wielding guns and beating people up like it was nobody’s business. Even when he was handcuffed to a pipe getting beaten up by the help, he didn’t give up. And then when he brought his daughter home, he introduced her to his pop star friend Holly Valance so she could become a famous singer! OHMYGOOOOD WHY DOESN’T MY DAD KNOW HOLLY VALANCE?!
Happy Father’s Day!