Your Questions Answered- (don’t all thank me at once, you guys….)

by swonderfulsmarvellous

A lot of people are directed to my blog looking for answers. Though they might not be the most thought provoking, life changing questions a lot of us ask ourselves on a daily basis (‘What is the meaning of life?’ ‘Why do cats have 9 lives and I only have 1?’ ‘Why is my hair so flat?’) they do deserve an answer. Thankfully, I have the answers you seek. You’re welcome.

1. 

This is a tough one, because so many people have died on Wisteria Lane over the years that it’s hard to keep track. And in so many original ways! You wouldn’t have thought that a garden fence would be deadly. But it is. Frankly, I’m surprised anyone wants to live there anymore.

Anyway. Back to the question. I can count 32 people having died actually on Wisteria Lane. Want me to list them? Okay, here goes.  Rex Van der Kamp. Edie Britt. Loads of people from that strangler kid….er…Mike Delfino. Okay. I’m giving up. The answer is 32. Just take my word for it.

2. 

I’m still pondering as to why my blog would give an answer to this question. I don’t think I’ve ever even wrote about Ms. Sande, but regardless; this question needs an answer. So here it is.

I’m afraid I don’t have access to Emeli Sande’s wardrobe, so I can’t check the labels in her clothes. I also don’t have the ability to guess people’s dress size by looking at them (apparently a lot of women can do this, which I find incredibly disturbing.) And anyway: it’s none of your business what dress size she is! Jeez! Give the woman some privacy!

3. 

This is an excellent question. Joey Potter was a bitch for so many reasons- but for me, I think it all comes down to her not wearing a bra. I know it was the 90s, but I think with a bit more support she would have been much friendlier.

4. 

Where do I even start with this question? I know I shouldn’t judge, because sometimes when I’m using Google in a hurry my spelling can go a little crazy. But come on. That is the worst looking question I’ve ever seen.

All I can tell you is that they don’t look like this– make that your starting point.

5. 

I really hate to tell you this, but the Grammy’s aren’t held in Covent Garden. They’re not even held in the UK. I know they’re held in the US somewhere, though to be honest, even I don’t know where. It’s a mystery. I really hope you don’t intend to go celebrity spotting at next years shindig in London- you will be thoroughly disappointed.

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