“Nobody wants to kiss a girl in black!” or What Downton Abbey Taught Me

by swonderfulsmarvellous

Downton Abbey returns on September 16th y’all! LIKE OMG YOU GUYS- put it in your diary! (Or put it in your pipe and smoke it if you feel the need!)

Making this list is the only thing calming me down right now. Seriously.

(To all my American/Canadian/other overseas readers: I’m sorry you have to wait so long for series 3! I hope this eases your pain!)

This Branson picture has nothing to do with this list really. I just liked it. If you don’t like it you’re probably a Thomas kind of gal. And we don’t need your kind here! (JOKES GUYS! JOKES!)

1. The best way to have a secret affair is in very public places. An open garage and the room next door to where your wife is dying are the ultimate choices.

2. “Why must everyday involve a fight with an American?! No, it’s fine, I’ll ride this swivel chair like the badass I am!” The Dowager Countess is one badass granny.

3. Kissing your cousin is encouraged. Especially if he’s fit with a massive entail. No pun intended.

4. Mr Bates is a fox. I mean, he isn’t really. But Anna digs him so what do I know?

5. If you leave your job for a day- even if it’s just to go to the post office to buy stamps, or feed soup to injured soldiers- Molesly will try to steal it. You’ve been warned.

6. Don’t listen to your bitch of an aunt when she tells you not to marry Matthew. Matthew is awesome. Mary is also awesome, but she’s pretty mean to Matthew when she sends him off to war all sad and heartbroken. Don’t be sad, Matthew! Lavinia’s a-coming!

7. There’s always one sister who is a complete bitch. But maybe the reason she’s a bitch is because her sister is mean to her and drives away her old fiance-to-be. But then before that, she did tell everyone her sister had hanky panky with a Turkish diplomat (saucy!) But then there’s the case of one sister having nicer dresses than the other… JUST BE NICE LIKE SYBIL GUYS! AND WEAR TROUSERS!

8. Hats are amazing. The bigger the better.

9. Apparently, phones are comparable to time machines in an H.G.Wells novel. It’s like older people trying understand iPhones, but in a period drama setting. LOLS.

10. Ghosts are real. And they enjoy a good board game!

(I have so many more things Downton Abbey has taught me I may have to do another list! AAAH EXCITING!)