‘Les Mis Is Les Waste Of Time’: An Argument

by swonderfulsmarvellous

lesmis

Pitchforks at the ready.

Whenever I tell people I didn’t like Les Mis they look at me like I’m a complete sociopath.

‘What do you mean, you didn’t like Les Mis?! Les Mis is 3 hours of AMAZINGNESS SHOVED IN YOUR FACE THROUGH YOUR EYES.’

Okay, Les Mis fan. That’s my first point. It is 3 hours long. Lord of the Rings was bad enough, but at least that kept me entertained with some orc killings and big elephants.

‘But it has SINGING! THEY ALL SOUND TREMENDOUS! DID YOU KNOW HUGH JACKMAN COULD SING?! DID YOU?!’

Yes I did. And I agree that the singing was lovely. Hathaway knocked it out of the park. Jackman shed his Wolverine claws in one gigantic high note.

But when Russell Crowe sang about killing himself for 10 miserable minutes, I just wished he’d get on with it. JUMP RUSSELL! JUMP!

‘You like history, Katy! It’s about France and the revolution and stuff! HISTORY WOO!’

Is it though? Is it actually? Or is it more about the incompetencies of one police man who kept a man in jail for 20 years for stealing some bread?

….

‘Eddie Redmayne is fit though, yeah?’

Eddie Redmayne’s character is an idiot. I think we can all agree on that. This lovely girl is his BFF, secretly loves him (but is actually quite brazen about it, mooning at him ALL THE TIME) and he goes off with the first blonde he sees with a bonnet.

He also fights with his mates for ‘freedom’ from oppression. All the while, his grandfather is shaking his fancy rich head and saying ‘It’s only a phase. He’ll be back when his mates are all dead and he’s run out of rent money for his Parisian hovel.’ And guess what? That’s exactly what he does!  He sings a song about an empty table, and then he goes back to his big fancy house and drinks champagne and marries Amanda Seyfried. The injustice.

‘It’s based on CLASSIC LITERATURE THOUGH. CLASSIC. LITERATURE.’

Being an English graduate, I can tell you that not all the classics are good. Some are shockingly bad. Just because you can buy Les Miserables in the classics section in Waterstones doesn’t mean it is a cracking read. It just means it’s well old. I mean, in 100 years, will Fifty Shades be considered a classic?

‘Did you like any of it then?!’

Well….I quite liked the little boy. You know, the one with cockney accent? (Another reason to be annoyed, as they were in France….) Anyway, he ended up dying. Anne Hathaway and Hugh Jackman were awesome though.

So, to summarise….watch the first 25 minutes with Hathaway in it because she is amazing. Then have a nap, because the rest of it is rubbish.

❤

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