“Shut Up Carl!” Or What The Walking Dead Taught Me

by swonderfulsmarvellous


1. Hyundai’s are the only car to see off a zombie apocalypse. Don’t even try to take the SUV. Or Dale.

2. Eye patches are sexy. Heads in jars are not.

3. If a group of people looking for a small girl come to your farm, don’t tell them about the small zombie girl you just found and put in your shed…

4. …and tell them to shut the gate! That rusty gate will keep out all foes, be them zombies or crazy Shane.

5. The more time spent living in the middle of a zombie infested hell on earth, the more attractive you become.

6. 3 weeks is a perfectly reasonable amount of time to get over the death of your husband and shack up with his best friend in a tent.

7. Zombies without teeth make excellent pets.

8. The US would be totally unprepared to deal with masses of shuffling corpses with no speed, sense of direction or proper social skills.

9. There ain’t no dictatorship like a Ricktatorship.

10. I most definitely would not survive if the dead tried to eat me.