When children knock on my door on Halloween and I have to give away all my chocolate.
1. Fetch is British slang. And it’s a good thing. Apparently. Though I don’t think it ever caught on over here, so I’m not sure where Gretchen Weiners heard it. Maybe when she went on the world tour with her dad promoting Toaster Strudle.
2. Live everyday like you’re Glen Coco. Because Glen Coco gets 4 candy canes. If I got 4 candy canes, I would be so happy I would probably go to Taco Bell to celebrate. Though not if I was on an all carb diet. Duh.
3. “Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. And die.” Probably not the best way to stop teenagers knocking boots, but hey, in this day and age you’ve got to try anything!
4. It’s perfectly acceptable to dress like a slut on Halloween. In fact, if you don’t dress like a slut for Halloween you are probably one of the uncool kids. Here is proof that I was (and still am) an uncool kid:
5. Some people can give an accurate weather forecast with their breasts. Or at the very least, if you can’t be bothered to go look out of the window, they can tell you if it’s already raining.
6. Big hair= big secrets. “That’s why her hair is so big, it’s FULL OF SECRETS!!!!!!!!”
7. “On Wednesdays we wear pink.” I love this. I wish it was a worldwide rule. And if you don’t wear pink, you can’t sit with us at lunch. Sorry.
8. Word vomit is not as messy as actual vomit, but it does cause just as much mess. Okay, that point wasn’t explained very well. Word vomit isn’t actual vomit, so you won’t need a toilet bowl and one of your friends to hold your hair. But word vomit does cause social awkwardness/ruined friendships/face palm moments that should be avoided.
9. Joining the Mathletes is social suicide. Paradoxically, Kevin G is a total badass.
10. Tina Fey is amazing. If you take away only one thing from Mean Girls, that should be it.