When someone at work says we might not get our bonus this year.
When someone points out to me that in a Downton Abbey world, I wouldn’t be Lady Mary. I’d be Daisy.
So, yeah. I went to Paris last week hoping to soak up some culture by eating a lot of bread and cake and cheese. Instead, I just got physically soaked because it rained NON STOP.
But did I let that stop me having an awesome time? No I did not.
My friend Claire thought it would be a good idea to take this photos. Hers look much better than mine, because she isn’t a massive idiot who was screaming the whole time because she thought her umbrella would lift her into the air like Mary Poppins.
We did all the usual stuff- Notre Dame (pretty windows, no hunchbacks), the Eiffel Tower (very high, lifts that go sideways), Versaille (lots of gold, lots of history, lots of rude tourist groups), the Pompidou Centre (lots of weird but amazing art) and the Arc de Triomphe (for some reason, there were lots of soldiers up there when we went. They looked like they were wearing bio hazard suits.)
If you ever go (and you should- because seriously, it’s Paris yo!), make sure you don’t go until early summer, and also make sure you visit Angelina’s- near the Louvre, or there’s one at Versaille. Best. Hot. Chocolate. Ever. Guys.
Now enjoy all my instagrammed pictures. I went a little bit mental.
Shakespeare and Co is an amazing bookshop near Notre Dame that sells super old books- they are really expensive (but come on, would you expect a first edition of Ulysses to be cheap?!) but it was lovely to go and have a raid of their bookshelves.
So I went to a palace at the weekend. And it wasn’t as palace-y as you’d expect.
I cropped the picture above, but you can probably still see part of a bright yellow digger in the corner. Kensington Palace is currently undergoing some kind of building work. Not sure how they’re going to make it better- we thought this was the back, because it is a pretty horrible red brick building.
Saying that, it is in a nice park, so it’s not all bad. And it has a nice statue of Queen Victoria (made by her daughter, Louise. Check me and my Victorian knowledge.)
Inside, it’s pretty disappointing. Out of all the historical places I’ve visited in London, it’s the one I enjoyed least (though the company was excellent- my housemate Claire kept me entertained by pointing out phallic trees and books filled with countless job possibilities.)
Is that not just the best job in the world? Anyway, Kensington Palace was a massive let down because of 3 things.
1. Half the rooms were empty. Pretty rubbish, considering I’d paid £13.20 to get in.
2. The rooms that did have things in them didn’t really explain what the things were. I like to learn!
And 3. There was a ‘hidden door’ in one of the rooms (like in Downton Abbey, natch) and I was very excited to go and find it, but when we got there it had been propped open. I mean, what’s the point of having a hidden door if you’re going to reveal it straight away?
There is no point.
It wasn’t all bad though. We got to see some nice paintings, and I learnt about how Queen Anne had lots of children that died (so sad!) And I saw many penis shaped trees.
So that was my weekend!
(I look scared in the window booth picture because when I sat down the walls started talking to me and it was unexpected.)
I promised a London post where I was all touristy and took lots of instagram pictures- well, my phone battery died halfway through the day so I didn’t get many photographs- boo! BUT I did get some, and my day in Buckingham Palace looking for Harry and looking at diamonds was pretty amazing!
You aren’t allowed to take pictures inside the palace itself, but hopefully these pictures show how amazing it is! I really wish I had been living in London a few months ago when it was the Jubilee celebrations, but I can imagine how amazing it was AND I can finally say I’ve been inside! Finally!
I went with my mum and my nan- who has always wanted to go to see the Queen’s house and now she has! 🙂
1. Fetch is British slang. And it’s a good thing. Apparently. Though I don’t think it ever caught on over here, so I’m not sure where Gretchen Weiners heard it. Maybe when she went on the world tour with her dad promoting Toaster Strudle.
2. Live everyday like you’re Glen Coco. Because Glen Coco gets 4 candy canes. If I got 4 candy canes, I would be so happy I would probably go to Taco Bell to celebrate. Though not if I was on an all carb diet. Duh.
3. “Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. And die.” Probably not the best way to stop teenagers knocking boots, but hey, in this day and age you’ve got to try anything!
4. It’s perfectly acceptable to dress like a slut on Halloween. In fact, if you don’t dress like a slut for Halloween you are probably one of the uncool kids. Here is proof that I was (and still am) an uncool kid:
5. Some people can give an accurate weather forecast with their breasts. Or at the very least, if you can’t be bothered to go look out of the window, they can tell you if it’s already raining.
6. Big hair= big secrets. “That’s why her hair is so big, it’s FULL OF SECRETS!!!!!!!!”
7. “On Wednesdays we wear pink.” I love this. I wish it was a worldwide rule. And if you don’t wear pink, you can’t sit with us at lunch. Sorry.
8. Word vomit is not as messy as actual vomit, but it does cause just as much mess. Okay, that point wasn’t explained very well. Word vomit isn’t actual vomit, so you won’t need a toilet bowl and one of your friends to hold your hair. But word vomit does cause social awkwardness/ruined friendships/face palm moments that should be avoided.
9. Joining the Mathletes is social suicide. Paradoxically, Kevin G is a total badass.
10. Tina Fey is amazing. If you take away only one thing from Mean Girls, that should be it.
I haven’t made it particularly public on here that over the last year I have been an out-of-work graduate. Swonderful smarvellous started as an outlet for my frustrations, a get away from all the CVs, covering letters and job applications. Because of that, I didn’t want it cluttered with posts where I moaned about my failures for all the world to see. Nobody wants to read about depressing things like that.
Taking that into consideration, I don’t want to ramble on about how hard it’s been over the past year, moving home and applying for hundreds of jobs with little success. It’s safe to say, though, that I felt that my dream of living and working in London with a publishing company was slowly slipping away.
Luckily, I decided to give it one last shot. I applied for a graduate scheme with a publisher based in London around 2 months ago. Even after every successful stage of the application process, I convinced myself I wouldn’t get it. I learned the hard way that hope is a very dangerous thing when you’re applying for jobs. Especially jobs you really want.
To cut a long and depressing story short, I had a phone call last week from a lovely woman who explained that I had been successful in gaining a position on the graduate scheme. I’m pretty sure I deafened her with my screams.
And so I can now say with confidence that I am moving to London on September 1st 2012 to start a job in publishing.
OMG I AM SO EXCITED I THINK I’M GOING TO PEEEEEE!!!!!! AHSAIV;EHLRWJFKWV KSOLK!!!!!
(That was me having a job induced fit.)
Ps. A quick thank you is in order to all my family and friends who have tolerated my bouts of insanity this past year. And also to all the lovely people who have followed this blog with likes and comments and follows. Thank you for keeping me sane through the madness.