It's just a tiny bit marvellous

Tag: TV

‘If anyone else dies, Julian Fellowes will pay’ Or What To Expect From Downton Abbey, Season 4

I’m joking, obviously. Julian Fellowes, you are a safe man.

1. Branson will be left to house sit again. Because he’s not allowed to go to fancy places like Scotland, guys. He doesn’t even own a suit.

2.  Bates will turn out to be a bad guy. I’m convinced. Remember the prison rage?! ‘I AM BATES, HERE ME ROAR.’

3. I’m thinking secret romance. I’m thinking jazz singer. I’m thinking blonde Sybil (that’s her name, don’t even pretend it isn’t.) I’m thinking preganancy? ABORTION?! WHO KNOWS. ONLY FELLOWES.

4. Lady Violet will say something witty about how dresses are getting all slutty, or how the music is too fast paced for her poor heart to take. There will also be some snide remarks about Americans, because there always is.

5. Daisy will nearly ruin, and then save, a very important dinner; Thomas will smoke a cigarette and look angry; Carson will polish some silver; Mrs. Patmore will be chuffed because suet was on offer in the local shop; tall butler will hit his head on a door frame and everyone will laugh; sexy, Eragon butler will be sexy, Eragon butler …

6…and then someone will die at Christmas. MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM JULIAN FELLOWES.

 

Money Woes #25

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When I decide that having very little money will no longer stop me from having an amazing time. TAKE THAT LIFE.

 

Money Woes #13

primark

When my friend at work tells me I should start shopping at Primark because it’s ‘cheap’ and ‘good’

“Shut Up Carl!” Or What The Walking Dead Taught Me

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1. Hyundai’s are the only car to see off a zombie apocalypse. Don’t even try to take the SUV. Or Dale.

2. Eye patches are sexy. Heads in jars are not.

3. If a group of people looking for a small girl come to your farm, don’t tell them about the small zombie girl you just found and put in your shed…

4. …and tell them to shut the gate! That rusty gate will keep out all foes, be them zombies or crazy Shane.

5. The more time spent living in the middle of a zombie infested hell on earth, the more attractive you become.

6. 3 weeks is a perfectly reasonable amount of time to get over the death of your husband and shack up with his best friend in a tent.

7. Zombies without teeth make excellent pets.

8. The US would be totally unprepared to deal with masses of shuffling corpses with no speed, sense of direction or proper social skills.

9. There ain’t no dictatorship like a Ricktatorship.

10. I most definitely would not survive if the dead tried to eat me.

Has this made my day? It might have….

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Who am I kidding? It’s made my week…

So it’s nearly Christmas, yeah?

In the UK we have a tradition that means as soon as the Christmas John Lewis/Coca Cola advertisements are aired, it’s time to get the tinsel out. So…it’s nearly Christmas, yeah?

‘Oy with the poodles already!’ Or What Gilmore Girls Taught Me

1. Big spiders carry guns. Fact.

2. Being an overprotective mother will lead to early pregnancies and rock music.

3. Singing Hello Dolly a la Louis Armstrong will shoot down any argument you are up against. Oh, you don’t believe me? You think I’m wrong?

……

HELLOOOOOO DOLLY.

Yeah. That showed you.

4. 24 hour dance marathons are amazing- but they aren’t the best time to break up with your boyfriend.

5. Michel is the best character. Non?

Michel: Well, you know what happens when you assume.

Lorelai: What?

Michel: I don’t know. Something about a donkey. It is a stupid American phrase.

Oh Michel. You are witty and French and we love you.

6. Taylor should just move.

7. Jess is more attractive than Dean, but Logan is more attractive than Jess. Luke is more attractive than all of them combined, which means I need to start hanging out in diners more often.

8. I know lots of pop culuture references…… but there are still times when I’m laughing at something Lorelai has said and I’m thinking ‘Why am I laughing?! Why is this funny!?’ And that’s okay. I’ve accepted the limits of my pop culture knowledge.

9. “Did anyone think that maybe Sylvia Plath wasn’t crazy, she was just cold?” She was definitely not just cold. I hope.

10. Sookie was a cool name before that vampire show. And people said it right back then. Ah the early noughties. We hardly knew ye.

You’re Welcome

Words Of Wisdom From The Dowager Countess

So the Dowager Countess of Grantham. Doesn’t she come out with some crazy stuff? Have you noticed that she’s always right? About everything?

Don’t believe me? Just take a look at these gems….

1. Life is a game where the player must appear ridiculous.

If anyone’s keeping score, I think I might be winning.

2. No Englishman would dream of dying in someone else’s house.

Could you imagine? It would be a total disgrace! You’d never be able to show your face in society again (though you’d be dead, so I suppose that wouldn’t be a big problem.) We English are far too classy for that shit.

3. No one wants to kiss a girl in black.

I’m not sure if this is more of an Edwardian thing, because black is very slimming- and if you spill something on yourself nobody can tell. But Mary and Sybil did get their men wearing summery frocks, so maybe Granny is on to something?

4. The truth is neither here nor there. It’s the look of the thing that matters.

Telling lies is okay if you make the lie convincing. And interesting. The Dowager Countess may have hit a moral grey area here but I’m guessing everyone is silently agreeing with her advice.

5. You can normally find an Italian who isn’t too picky.

I really hope so. It may turn out to be my only option in life.

“Nobody wants to kiss a girl in black!” or What Downton Abbey Taught Me

Downton Abbey returns on September 16th y’all! LIKE OMG YOU GUYS- put it in your diary! (Or put it in your pipe and smoke it if you feel the need!)

Making this list is the only thing calming me down right now. Seriously.

(To all my American/Canadian/other overseas readers: I’m sorry you have to wait so long for series 3! I hope this eases your pain!)

This Branson picture has nothing to do with this list really. I just liked it. If you don’t like it you’re probably a Thomas kind of gal. And we don’t need your kind here! (JOKES GUYS! JOKES!)

1. The best way to have a secret affair is in very public places. An open garage and the room next door to where your wife is dying are the ultimate choices.

2. “Why must everyday involve a fight with an American?! No, it’s fine, I’ll ride this swivel chair like the badass I am!” The Dowager Countess is one badass granny.

3. Kissing your cousin is encouraged. Especially if he’s fit with a massive entail. No pun intended.

4. Mr Bates is a fox. I mean, he isn’t really. But Anna digs him so what do I know?

5. If you leave your job for a day- even if it’s just to go to the post office to buy stamps, or feed soup to injured soldiers- Molesly will try to steal it. You’ve been warned.

6. Don’t listen to your bitch of an aunt when she tells you not to marry Matthew. Matthew is awesome. Mary is also awesome, but she’s pretty mean to Matthew when she sends him off to war all sad and heartbroken. Don’t be sad, Matthew! Lavinia’s a-coming!

7. There’s always one sister who is a complete bitch. But maybe the reason she’s a bitch is because her sister is mean to her and drives away her old fiance-to-be. But then before that, she did tell everyone her sister had hanky panky with a Turkish diplomat (saucy!) But then there’s the case of one sister having nicer dresses than the other… JUST BE NICE LIKE SYBIL GUYS! AND WEAR TROUSERS!

8. Hats are amazing. The bigger the better.

9. Apparently, phones are comparable to time machines in an H.G.Wells novel. It’s like older people trying understand iPhones, but in a period drama setting. LOLS.

10. Ghosts are real. And they enjoy a good board game!

(I have so many more things Downton Abbey has taught me I may have to do another list! AAAH EXCITING!)

<;3